And on the fifth, sixth, and seventh days, he rested... 7/5/09

If only all weekends were three

Days long, I think that we'd be

Much happier, healthier

And possibly wealthier

This petition's beginning with me.

July 4, 2009

Despite all our nation's concerns

I'll say many happy returns

To the ol' USA

On this, its birthday

And hope for few firework burns.

Working for the little man, 7/3/09

For this, I can't say I've waited.

But maybe it's what we're all fated

To one day become

As today my son

Said "I'm Zachary... Incorporated."

Before the sons go down, 7/2/09

To walk through the door and hear cries

Of "Daddy!" cut me down to size.

Because these days I creep

In the door; they're asleep

And I really miss seeing those guys.

Footstrike Anemia? 7/1/09

This anemia's really quite cunning

But this diagnosis is stunning;

The issue could very

Well be ordinary:

That once in a while I go running.

Eat, Write, Eat, Write, Eat, Write, Repeat 6/30/09

It's nice to have irons and fire.

But also, it's nice to retire

At a half-decent hour

So it's within your power

To wake up and feel inspired.

The presence of presents, 6/29/09

Our home's a confusion of plastic

Making both my sons go spastic

Toys, balls, and balloons

Fill up all our rooms...

I may have to do something drastic.

Nate's Birthday Party, 6/28/09

Nate, I hope you had a ball.

(There were plenty of them, wall-to-wall)

You bounced and had cake

And got to stay up late

A good time, I think, was had by all.

Or close enough, anyway, 6/27/09

The decision I had trouble making

Regarding my starter was taking

Time that it need not

Because what I'd forgot

Is pork belly's real close to bacon.

Happy Birthday Natesy! 6/26/09

My son, one day when you're a man we'll

Talk about you at two and you'll

Hear tales of tickles

And gabba and pickles.

Happy birthday to you, my Nathaniel.

Rule of 3, 6/25/09

They say that things happen in threes

And by "things" they mean "tragedies."

But if you ask me, I

Think that's just how we try

To make sense of the nonsense we see.

In A Fog, 6/24/09

If only someone had advised

Me that when your kids are still pint-sized,

There's more to their routine

Than the things that you've seen...

Sometimes they must be nebulized.

Outta Here, 6/23/09

I don't want to be writing this poem.

I'd much rather be on my way home.

But I've three lines to write

Now just two, end in sight:

Here's the last one. Now I must be going.

More Cooks, More Cooks! 6/22/09

Script written, the weight has been lifted

Which means now the burden has shifted

To the folks in the suits

Whose notes of no use

Will confirm that they're not very gifted.

Consider The Oyster, 6/21/09

An oyster can go to and fro

From male to female, so

If the mood strikes its shell

Melinda's now Mel.

Which is sort of like Chastity Bono.

Del Mar, 6/20/09

"On Death and Dying" I've read

Know the stages of grief in my head

But the reality

Of her mortality

Isn't theory. It's there, in her bed.

I'm a little tired, 6/19/09

If only the viewers could see

Behind the screens of their TVs

And into the process

Of writing this nonsense

That just might end up killing me.

One Way or Another, 6/18/09

We're right now at the darkest spot

In the tunnel, and all that we've got

Is the hope there's a light,

That we'll make it all right...

Or that death will come swiftly, if not.

Oral Tradition, 6/18/09

Like father like son; there's a truth

In that age-old adage, and proof

Is that my eldest son

Did today as I'd done

As a child... and knocked out a tooth.

Child's Play, 6/16/09

My four year old likes my laptop

He'll go online and won't want to stop

Which I don't mind

At least until such time

As he figures out how to shop.

Consolation, 6/15/09

At seven, I thought we were fine.

We'll finish this thing in no time.

But then we got tripped

Up, the end of the script

Was a bitch... but at least there was wine.

In a shocking twist, 6/14/09

"Daddy, will you rest with me?"

Each night he asks, perpetually

"All right," I said

And lay down on the bed

He closed his eyes. And went to sleep.

It was all downhill from there, 6/13/09

The view was great, there was a breeze

There was wine and beer and cake and cheese

If only the lawn

That it was held on

Weren't inclined at 40 degrees

Cybersquat, 6/12/09

Twitter, I'm technically on

But only because my name's gone

Snatched up by some vermin

Who goes by @jonsherman

Leaving me @shermanjon

But don't you go following me

'Cause there will be nothing to see

All the pith that I got

Is reserved for this spot.

(Or failing that, banality).

Your Mantra: "I am employed", 6/11/09

When the ladies who vacuum the floor

Come in through the office door

It's a pretty good sign

That you've spent too much time

At work... and then you work some more.